EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: The King is not shy of hitting Prince Andrew where it hurts

The King is known to put a brotherly arm around Andrew in private but publicly he's not shy of hitting him where it hurts. 

Having handed Camilla the colonelcy of the Grenadier Guards, a prestigious honour that Prince Philip had given to his second son, the King has now bestowed Andrew's cherished role as patron of York Racecourse to the Queen. 

The timing is harsh. York's first meeting of the season, the Dante Festival, began yesterday with the 1895 Duke of York Stakes renamed to show it was honouring the future George V rather than tarnished Andrew.

The King has now bestowed Andrew's (pictured) cherished role as patron of York Racecourse to the Queen 

With his beloved Aston Villa qualifying for Europe's top tier competition, Prince William celebrates the 'historic season', announcing on social media: 'We are Champions League!' 

William has supported Villa since school days, explaining: 'All my friends at school were either Man United fans or Chelsea fans and I didn't want to follow the run-of-the-mill teams. 

'I wanted to have a team that was more mid-table, that could give me more emotional rollercoaster moments.'

Matthew Parris, spouting about being 'on the best of terms' with Peter Mandelson (whom he accidentally outed on BBC's Newsnight and blamed for the subsequent damage to his media career), confesses to practising black magic against Mandy. 

'I spotted an old rag doll,' he admits. 'Named it Peter and stuck two large pins in it.' 

But after Tony Blair sacked Mandelson, Parris removed the pins and threw the doll into the Thames. 

'I'd meant it as closure but then became anxious lest Peter drown.' 

Shouldn't Matthew have checked first if Labour's Prince of Darkness, like Dracula, doesn't show a reflection when he looks in the mirror?

Shouldn't Matthew Parris (pictured) have checked first if Labour's Prince of Darkness, like Dracula, doesn't show a reflection when he looks in the mirror? 

Bridgerton's Nicola Coughlan insisted on appearing naked in the new series of the Netflix hit, telling Stylist magazine: 'It just felt like the biggest 'f*** you!' to all the conversation surrounding my body. 

It was amazingly empowering. I felt beautiful in the moment – and I thought, 'When I'm 80, I want to look back on this and remember how f